.dari DIA kita datang.kepada DIA juga kita kembali.

salam.

saya terima.
saya redha.
saya kena redha.
ini janji Allah.
setiap yang hidup pasti akn mati.
hari ini hari dia.
bagaimana dengan hari kita pula?

kata orang,hilang ibu atau bapa tiada pengganti.
mmg tiada pengganti.
dia berdiri di depan,di belakang dan di kanan kiri saya setiap masa.
dia berjanji akan doanya untuk saya setiap ketika.
dia menaburkan cintanya tanpa sempadan dan syarat untuk saya.
tenaga dan wang ringgit untuk saya?tiada ukuran.

i was born 11 years after my elder sister.
so i'm always his little girl,the stubborn one.
i still remember,when i was a little kid,when he came back from work he caught me in his arm and kissed me wildly with his misai and i struggled to make him let go of me .i hated it.he even kissed me gud nite and i wished him the same before i go to bed.every single nite..i dun remember when everything had stopped but i remember i felt shy about it because big girls don't do it anymore.
but now,when u ask about my father,that is the 1st thing that comes to mind.

i miss him when he puffed out his cheeks to mock me when i was sulking.
i miss him when he scolded me for not being punctual or woke up late in the morning.
i miss him when both of us berebut for the same kueh on the table because we happened to like the same kueh.
i miss him the most when we go fishing together.it's like a routine hobby we shared together,me,him,my mother and my sister.it's like a small picnic and we ate nasik lemak while waiting for the fish.we teased each other for not getting any fish yet.mak mesti terasa sebab tiada siapa nk tolong dia lepaskan ikan sembilang yg berduri dr kail lagi and what she or we will miss the most is he's no longer here to go fishing again.
i'll miss him when seeing the fishing rods by the wall(his is the longest and heaviest one)

saya akn rindu melihat teksi merahnya di depan rumah.
saya akn rindu naik teksi free of charge
saya akn rindu pewangi teksi yang saya akn pening setiap kali naik sbb pewangi itu oren.
dan saya akn rindu saying proudly"bapak saya seorang pemandu teksi"

he's no longer here.
he's no more with us.
he left.

to my beloved father,
rest in peace father,because we are here to look after mak,and as u had promised me before,i will always send u doa as long as i live.
semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.
ameen.

.the not so beautiful life.

salam.

when i'm thinking about my own problems,they are the biggest that one could have.
but just now when someone poured out her problems to my ears,my perception changed.there's no problem that is too big nor too small.if u think yours is the most annoying and frustrating ones,go listen to other people's prob.surely u'll be grateful for what god has tested upon you.at least you are not the only one who's carrying the burden of never ending problems.lots of people out there dun have the solutions of their problems for years.even some take the short-cut,comitted suicide.nauzubillah.bila ada masalah sekarang...i easily gave up.i guess it's hard to be strong like some people.i'm scared of being alone.i'm scared of everyone is leaving me and i end up growing old alone.i'm scared if everyone is happy with their own family while i'm all alone with no one beside me.im just scared being alone.

don't go away.stay with me.that's all i'm asking for.

.kawan.

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salam.

masa mula-mula nk tulis..terpikir gak,tajuk ni cm buhsan.even the word itself is plain boring and v. typical.letakla sahabat ke...teman akrab ke...rakan baik ku ke...tapi i insist nk letak juga .kawan.
ada apa dengan kawan ni?

meh saya nk cerita.pernahkan kamu rasa bahagia sebab ada kawan?pernahkan kamu-kamu menangis sebab terharu atau sedih kerana kawan?pernahkan kamu dan kamu betol2 nak peluk kawan kamu kerana rindu atau lama tak jumpa?hurmm...mungkin ini semua saya katakan kerana saya perempuan.emotional kata org laki.hahaha....maybe the situation is a bit different untuk lelaki bcos they seldom show their emotion towards a friend.

ok..berbalik tentang kawan.i've been thru all of the above.sometimes in friendship,there is up n downyer.hari ini,kamu rasa dia lah kamu kamu dunia akhirat...the bf.tahu apa?the best friend.better one,the bff which stands for best friend forever.nak lebih lagi?the bffffff.best friend forever and ever and ever.....tapi the next day maybe things will change.u fight about something and boom!no more best friend.i hate u..u hate me..but if dia btol2 kawan kamu...atau pun kamu btol2 rasa persahabatn tu ikhlas,kamu akn cari penyelesaiannya.maafkan dia.bagi peluang kepada dia.actually peluang tu untuk kamu juga.mesti lebih manis fship tu bukan?at least next time,kedua-dua kamu lebih menjaga percakapan dan batas-batas dalam persahabatan.

bila saya boleh luahkan apa sahaja yang saya rasa,be it sedih,gembira,apa hal je lah dengan seseorangan....saya rasa gembira,lega sbb at least ada org sudi mendengar..happy bila dia gelak-gelak bersama saya dan terharu bila dia menangis bersama-sama saya bila saya sedih.dan saya juga akn cuba sebaik mungkin memberi diri saya untuk dia.the principle is easy.give and take.she listen to you and u listen to her.maybe at times...i'm being selfish.or the other one is being selfish.but there must be rooms for improvement.be open-minded.talk to each other about what went wrong.that is what i've learnt from my past experiences.u realised ur mistake and u improvise.mungkin org kata friends,they come and go.but i least i keep the good ones with me.saya dah rasa pahitnya hilang kawan baik.tapi bila dia kembali,saya tahu saya tak kehilangan sebenarnya..dia ada,cuma saya tak nampak dia berdiri bersama2 saya dimana2.saya juga ada kawan,kawan smp ke syurga saya pgl.sbb dia juga msih berdiri utuh untuk saya.w'pun macam-macam dtg menduga,saya tahu dia ada.bila saya pass exam saya,saya tahu dengan siapa saya nak kongsi kelegaan dan kegembiraan itu.bila saya rasa saya tak berdaya untuk menghadapi hari-hari mendatang..saya tahu dari mana saya akn dapat semangat saya kembali klau bukan dr kawan-kawan saya.it's easier to share sumthing with the ones yg tahu and faham akn saya,keadaan diri dan hidup saya.and i called them my friends.bukankah org kata antara benda plg manis dalam dunia ni adalah cinta?saya tak nafikan tetapi jikalau kamu ada tekanan dalam percintaan,apa lagi yg tinggal?the safest relationship in the world is friendship,i think.lupakan keluarga seketika kerana saya tak mahu membandingkan pertalian darah di sini.it's about how we trust strangers and include them in our own personal life.seorang kawan saya ada berkata,"how do we cherish our friends?by including them in our dreams!"and there's a saying by Imam Ghazali,"sahabat yang baik adalah sahabat yang selalu mengingati sahabat-sahabatnya di dalam doanya".

sebenarnya entry ni dibuat setelah sesi luahan perasaan dengan kawan saya.di tgh2 perbualan kami sedar...what would we do without each other..tentunya hidup lebih rugi sedikit tanpa kawan.hidup di perantauan mcm saya juga amat memerlukan kawan-kawan di sisi.housemates,coursemates,really meant a lot to me.imagine waktu keluar makan bersama-sama...travelling together,bincang soalan apa nk keluar in exam...itu semua adalah benda-benda kecil tetapi bernilai untuk saya,even buat saya tersenyum bila fikir-fikir balik.

in conclusion,sahabat bagi saya adalah anugerah tuhan yang plg bernilai buat saya.ini mcm ayat dlm novel kan?haha...tapi i dunno how to put in words as to appreaciate my friends.so selagi boleh....saya mahu kalian bersama2 saya smp mati and klau diizinkan tuhan,sampai ke syurga.